Finding Encouragement in Unexpected Places

Sometimes the person who helps you see your worth isn't the person you expected. A personal story about encouragement, purpose and second chances.

We expect encouragement to come from certain places. Our parents. Our closest friends. A spouse or partner. The people we naturally turn to when life gets hard or when we're questioning ourselves. And if you are a client of Rise Wellness, you'd certainly expect your coach to be a source of encouragement.

But sometimes God—or life, depending on how you see it—puts someone in your path who sees something in you that you haven't learned to see in yourself yet. For me, one of those people has been my brother-in-law.

Sometimes Someone Else Believes It Before You Do

For years, my brother-in-law has encouraged me to date. He would tell me it was a shame I'd been single for so long. He'd tell me I was a catch. He couldn't understand why I wasn't putting myself out there and allowing someone the opportunity to know me.

And for years, I shrugged it off. Actually, I shrugged it off so consistently that I almost forgot he'd been telling me the same thing over and over.

Maybe part of me didn't believe him.

Maybe after enough disappointment, heartbreak, loss, and years of being alone, being single had simply become safer. You can convince yourself that you don't need something when you're afraid of what it might cost you to want it again.

Then one day, after hearing essentially the same message for years, something finally clicked.

Maybe he's right.

Not simply that I'm a “catch,” but something much deeper:

I am capable of loving someone deeply. And I am worthy of being loved deeply in return.

It sounds like such a simple realization. It wasn't. Sometimes another person has to believe something about you long enough for you to finally start believing it yourself.

The Right Words at Exactly the Right Time

Relationships haven't been the only place he's encouraged me. Some of my deepest insecurities have revolved around taking chances. Trying something new. Going after something that seems too big. Putting myself in situations where I might fail. Starting over when it would be much easier to stay comfortable.

There have been moments when my brother-in-law has said exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time—sometimes without even realizing how much I needed to hear it.

That has made me think a lot about the way we speak to people. We rarely know the full weight someone else is carrying. A sincere compliment might seem insignificant to you and stay with someone else for years.

A few words of encouragement might be the thing that finally gets someone to apply for school, change careers, walk into a gym for the first time, start a business, leave something that isn't good for them, fall in love again, or simply believe that their life can become something different.

Our words have power.

We should use them carefully—but we should also use them generously.

Goals and Purpose Aren't the Same Thing

My brother-in-law has also challenged our family to think about something I've been wrestling with a lot lately:

What's the difference between having goals and having a purpose?

I have plenty of goals. Probably too many.

I want to continue growing Rise Wellness & Longevity. I want to keep transforming myself physically. I want to go back to school. I want to keep learning. I want to build businesses. I want to experience things I've never experienced. I want to love bigger. I want to take chances that the old version of me would have been too afraid to take.

Getting a second chance at life changed something in me. It made regret feel much scarier than failure. I've already experienced what it feels like for life to change in an instant. So, I don't want to reach the end of mine wondering what would have happened if I'd been a little braver.

But those are still goals.

Purpose is different.

Goals are things I want to accomplish. Purpose is the reason I want my life to matter.

And somewhere along the way, I realized I had found mine.

My Purpose Is Bigger Than Wellness

Yes, I want to help people get into the best shape of their lives.

I want to help people improve their health.

I want people to feel stronger.

I want people to look in the mirror and feel confident about the person looking back at them.

I want someone who has struggled with their weight for years to finally feel like they have a plan they can maintain.

I want people to understand their bodies better and become active participants in their own health.

That's the heart of Rise Wellness & Longevity. But I've realized there's something underneath all of that.

I want to touch people's lives.

Whether you're a Rise client, a friend, a family member, someone following me on social media, or a stranger who somehow found this article at exactly the moment you needed it, I hope I can be a source of encouragement in your life.

I don't tell my story because I think I've figured everything out. Actually, telling my story has been out of my comfort zone. But I tell it because I've been through enough disappointment, fear, loss, rebuilding, and starting over to know that your current circumstances don't have to be the final chapter of your story—and maybe that's the message you need to hear today.

If sharing the things I've gone through gives one person enough courage to try again, then those experiences can mean something beyond me.

Maybe someone reading this finally goes back to school. Maybe you apply for the job you don't think you're qualified for. Maybe you start taking care of your body after years of neglecting yourself. Maybe you start the business. Maybe you finally admit what you really want from life.

Maybe you allow yourself to love someone again. Maybe you stop waiting for permission to become the person you've quietly known you could be. Maybe you simply decide:

I don't want to live with regrets anymore.

Be the Person Who Keeps Saying It

There's one final lesson my brother-in-law has taught me, probably without ever intending to teach it.

Don't stop encouraging people just because they don't believe you the first time.

He told me the same thing for years. I shrugged it off. He said it again. I laughed. He said it again. I dismissed it.

And eventually, I heard him. I'm still not dating, but after 11 years, my heart is finally open to the idea. His words eventually allowed me to see myself the way others do, instead of allowing insecurity and fear to tell me the story of who I am.

Think about how powerful that is.

There may be someone in your life right now who can't see what you see in them.

Tell them anyway. Tell your friend she's stronger than she realizes. Tell your brother you're proud of him. Tell someone who's starting over that you believe in them. Tell the person who's afraid to chase a dream that you can see them succeeding. Tell someone who's been hurt that they're still worthy of love.

And if they brush you off?

Tell them again.

You never know which time will finally be the time they believe you.

Leave People Better Than You Found Them

I've spent a lot of my life chasing goals. These days, I'm much more interested in purpose. I want Rise Wellness & Longevity to help people look better, feel better, live longer, and become healthier. But I want my life to stand for something even bigger than that.

I want people to feel stronger after knowing me. Braver. More hopeful. More willing to take the chance. More willing to believe in themselves. More willing to love. Learn to love themselves!

And more willing to live this one life we've been given without constantly wondering what if?

Someday, the goals will stop mattering. The businesses, accomplishments, titles, money, and things we accumulated will belong to another chapter. What will remain is the impact we had on people.

Did I build people up?

Did I encourage them?

Did I help someone believe something about themselves that they couldn't believe yet?

Did I leave this world a little better than I found it?

That's the kind of success I want. That's the deeper heart behind Rise.

And that's my purpose.

That philosophy is at the heart of Rise Wellness & Longevity here in Prineville, Oregon. Wellness isn't only about a number on the scale, a lab result, or what you see in the mirror. It's about becoming stronger physically, mentally and emotionally—and having people in your corner who encourage you to keep moving forward.

— Jeremy Hicks
Co-Founder & Health Coach
Rise Wellness & Longevity

Stronger with time. Better with age. Made to Rise.